Your name has enemies. Don’t blame yourself, it’s nothing that you did. In fact, your name itself is perfectly innocent. But somewhere out there, there’s another name holding a grudge.
I learned this from a Twitter conversation started by a Jonah who declared Jonas his name’s natural enemy. When he invited others to share their own name’s nemesis, or “namesis,” the floodgates were open. Name enemies, it seems, are everywhere.
Most often, the villains are near-doppelgangers. After you’ve mistakenly been called—or responded to—a particular name one or two hundred times, the die has been cast:
Everyone thinks I say my name is Anna, upon first meeting me. Everyone.— Hannah Burtness (@hannastasia) June 4, 2019
Amandas and Melissas ruin my life— Miranda W. (@SNE1N) June 5, 2019
It’s not always about mistaken identity, though. For some names it’s a moral imperative: your own name is right, thus variants are corrupt and must be stamped out.
Sara’s with no H. You’re wrong and your name looks naked.— SP (@sarahprice1013) June 4, 2019
As a Max I can never befriend a Mac. I am the plural, they are the singular— Maxster of the Week (@MaxKreisky) June 4, 2019
I wished there was a world where Lucas and Lukas could exist together… But Lucas must prevail, we must be the ones to see the heat death of the universe as was foretold.— ?️? Ballad Of The Seven Dice || GenCon Bound (@Ballad7Dice) June 4, 2019
Perhaps most interesting are the names that don’t sound alike, but are constantly confused because they feel alike. Women named Rebecca, I now know, are routinely called Rachel. Then there are the people who suddenly find that their surname has become a popular first name. The variants are endless, but the core experience is universal. We all have our nameses. What’s yours?